Relationship expert Clio Garland is back to help you with your wedding woes and worries. She?s answered your questions in the past (ask ?em in the comments!) and now she?s talking about a touchy subject when it comes to the wedding? money. Here?s her advice on how to deal with this difficult topic.
Clio Garland
Money is always a charged issue, so it is no wonder that dealing with wedding finances while planning can be one of the most stressful challenges an engaged couple has to confront. There are many things to consider including:
-Who will pay for what
-What are the different family?s resources
-How is money viewed by the families
-How much will tradition play a part in financial contributions
-How do the families view the relationship between their financial contributions and -How influential they will be in making decisions
-How will the couple handle their own differences regarding money
Reviewing all of these areas will help the couple negotiate the many issues that will come up during the wedding planning and give them an opportunity to explore their own views about money. If the couple is taking on all of the financial responsibilities for the wedding, they will be in a better position to make decisions without feeling responsible to others, but family and friends will still have there ideas and feedback. If the couple expects their families to contribute, before they meet with their parents, they should discuss: how they envision their wedding; what the estimated cost will be; what they can contribute and how much they expect their families to contribute. To the extent the couple can predict some of the reactions of their parents and strategize some responses, the meetings will be more productive.
If the parents agree to contribute financially, the couple needs to find out in what way they expect to be involved in the planning and decision making. If money has been used as a way to control, this may also come into play. Parents might want to contribute more than they can afford, bringing up feelings of inadequacy, especially if the other family has more resources. These talks are usually emotionally charged because they are reflective of the changing relationships inherent in the engagement period, as sons and daughters begin to define themselves as a couple. As joyous an occasion as a wedding is, it requires not only financial resources, but also all of the couple?s and their families? inner resources. I recommend that the couple be as clear as they can be about their needs, as direct as they can be with their families and as aware as they can be about all of the factors that influence people?s views about money. Most importantly, they should keep in mind what their wedding day is all about and enjoy the big day.
?Clio Garland
Source: http://blog.lovepost.com/relationship-expert-clio-garland-talks-wedding-finances
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